Have you ever lost weight, felt like you were finally getting somewhere… only to go on holiday, have a busy few weeks or fall out of your routine and find yourself right back where you started?
Maybe you’ve lost the same 10 lbs more than once.
Maybe you’re brilliant Monday to Friday, but weekends throw you off.
Or perhaps holidays come with that familiar feeling of:
“I’ll enjoy myself now and get back on track when I get home.”
Then Monday comes. The holiday ends. And getting “back on track” feels much harder than you expected.
If you recognise yourself in this, there may be something important you’ve been missing.
Because sustainable weight loss isn’t only about changing what you do.
It’s also about changing who you believe yourself to be.
And that shift can completely change the way you approach food, movement, your body and weight loss.
Why Another Diet Probably Isn’t the Answer
For years, I thought I simply needed to find the right diet.
I tried Weight Watchers and plenty of other approaches.
And here’s the interesting part:
I could lose weight.
The problem was keeping it off.
I’d follow the rules, lose a few pounds and feel great. But then a holiday, Christmas, Easter, a wedding or even a weekend would come along.
Suddenly, it felt like I had permission to have a break.
Pasta. Desserts. Cocktails. All the things I’d been restricting were back on the table.
And there was always that thought:
“I’ll get back on it afterwards.”
Except afterwards wasn’t always that simple.
I’d struggle to return to the diet, old habits would creep back in and eventually the weight I’d worked so hard to lose would return.
Then I’d start another diet.
Lose weight → have a break → fall off track → regain it → start again.
And the whole cycle would begin again.
The Moment I Realised Something Had Completely Changed
Recently, I was on an all-inclusive holiday in Morocco.
There was food everywhere.
Fried food, creamy pasta dishes, desserts, alcohol… all the things that once would have made me think:
“I’m on holiday. I need to make the most of it!”
But this time, something was completely different.
I didn’t feel like I was fighting myself.
I naturally gravitated towards meals built around protein, vegetables and salads because those are foods I genuinely enjoy now.
I still ate dessert.
I still drank some alcohol.
I enjoyed my holiday.
There was no need for perfection and no feeling that I’d blown it.
And towards the end of the holiday, something happened that the old me would never have understood:
I was actually looking forward to getting back to my normal routine.
Not because I needed to compensate for what I’d eaten.
Not because I felt guilty.
But because I genuinely like the way my normal lifestyle makes me feel.
That’s when you know something deeper has changed.
The Real Transformation Wasn’t Another Diet. It Was Becoming a Different Version of Me.
The difference wasn’t that I’d suddenly developed superhuman willpower.
And it wasn’t that I had finally found the “perfect” diet.
I’d changed the way I saw myself.
For years, I identified as someone who:
- couldn’t stay consistent
- always regained the weight
- eventually fell off whatever diet she was following
- couldn’t resist certain foods
Even though I knew plenty about nutrition, the information wasn’t enough to create lasting change.
Over time, I worked on those beliefs alongside changing my nutrition, habits and lifestyle.
I started creating a version of myself who enjoys nourishing food, wants to move her body and doesn’t need to be either “on” or “off” a diet.
And this is something I see again and again:
Most Women Don’t Have a Knowledge Problem
You probably already know vegetables are good for you.
You know protein matters.
You know movement is important.
You know sleep and stress affect how you feel.
You probably even have screenshots of healthy recipes, saved workouts and plenty of information about what you “should” be doing.
Knowing isn’t necessarily the problem.
The real gap is often between:
Knowing what to do → doing it consistently → becoming someone for whom those behaviours feel normal.
And that’s where identity comes in.
Think → Do → Be: The Three Stages of Lasting Change
One way I like to explain this is through three stages:
1. THINKING: “I know what I should do.”
This is where most of us have spent a LOT of time.
You read the books.
Watch the videos.
Save the recipes.
Learn about protein, fibre, sleep, hormones, stress and exercise.
You know what you should be doing.
But knowledge alone doesn’t create transformation.
2. DOING: “I’m trying to do it.”
Now you start implementing everything you’ve learned.
You meal prep.
You exercise.
You start your new morning routine.
For a few days or weeks, you’re doing brilliantly.
Then life happens.
You sleep badly.
Work gets stressful.
The kids need you.
Your energy drops.
Your routine gets disrupted.
A few habits disappear and suddenly you think:
“I’ve messed it up. I’ll start again on Monday.”
This is where so many women remain stuck: constantly trying to do healthy things without changing the deeper story they have about themselves.
3. BEING: “This is simply who I am.”
This is where everything begins to feel different.
You aren’t constantly forcing yourself to behave like a healthy person.
Those behaviours gradually become part of your normal life.
You become someone who looks after her body.
Someone who can go on holiday without needing to eat everything because “the diet starts again Monday.”
Someone who misses a workout without deciding the entire week is ruined.
Someone who can eat dessert without turning it into three days of overeating.
Someone who follows through more often than she doesn’t.
Healthy choices stop being something you’re temporarily doing to lose weight and start becoming part of the woman you’re becoming.
That is a very different way to create lasting change.
How Do You Actually Create a New Version of Yourself?
This isn’t about standing in front of the mirror repeating affirmations you don’t believe.
You begin changing your identity by challenging the old story and repeatedly giving yourself evidence for a new one.
Here are four simple steps you can start with.
Step 1: Identify the Story You’re Currently Telling Yourself
Pay attention to the sentences you repeatedly use:
“I have no discipline.”
“I can never stay consistent.”
“My hormones make it impossible for me to lose weight.”
“I always gain the weight back.”
“I just can’t stick to healthy eating.”
Here’s a useful exercise:
Write down:
“I want to __________, but…”
Then finish the sentence.
What comes after “but” can reveal some of the beliefs influencing your behaviour.
Step 2: Challenge the Old Story
Now ask yourself:
Is this 100% true?
Then deliberately look for evidence that contradicts it.
If your belief is “I’m not consistent,” perhaps you:
- made several nourishing meals this week
- went for a walk when you didn’t feel like it
- have successfully lost weight before
- are incredibly consistent in another area of your life
- chose to stop eating when you were satisfied
- went to bed earlier because you knew you needed rest
Your old story usually isn’t the whole story.
Stop collecting evidence only for the woman you believe you’ve been. Start noticing evidence for the woman you’re becoming.
Step 3: Create a More Helpful Belief
You don’t need to jump from:
“I have absolutely no discipline”
to:
“I am the most disciplined woman in the world!”
If you don’t believe it, it’s unlikely to be particularly helpful.
Instead, choose something that feels believable while reflecting the direction you’re moving in.
For example:
“I’m becoming someone who follows through, one choice at a time.”
Or:
“My hormones may make weight loss more challenging, but I can still support my body and make progress with the right approach.”
The goal isn’t pretending.
It’s allowing yourself to see a new possibility.
Step 4: Collect Evidence for the Woman You’re Becoming
This is the part I particularly want you to try.
At the end of each day, ask yourself:
What healthy choice did I make today?
How did I support my body today?
What am I proud of today?
Maybe you ate a protein-rich breakfast.
Maybe you walked for ten minutes.
Maybe you drank more water.
Maybe you stopped criticising yourself after eating something you hadn’t planned.
Maybe you went to the gym.
Maybe you rested because your body genuinely needed it.
Notice it.
Because every time you follow through, you’re building evidence that the old story about you isn’t necessarily true.
Every healthy choice is another vote for the woman you’re becoming.
Stop Waiting to Become Her Before You Start Acting Like Her
This is one of the biggest shifts I want women to understand about midlife.
You don’t have to wait until you’ve lost the weight to become confident.
You don’t have to wait until you have more energy to start looking after yourself.
And you certainly don’t need to spend the next decade starting another diet every Monday.
Instead, start asking yourself:
“What would the version of me I’m becoming choose here?”
Not the perfect version.
Not the woman who never eats cake, never misses a workout and takes Tupperware to every social occasion.
The real woman.
The woman who enjoys her life and looks after herself.
The woman who can go on holiday and enjoy dessert without feeling she’s ruined everything.
The woman who can have an imperfect week without turning it into an imperfect month.
The woman whose healthy lifestyle isn’t something she desperately wants a break from.
That’s the transformation we’re looking for.
Midlife Isn’t the Beginning of Your Decline. It Can Be Your Turning Point.
We’re often given such a negative story about midlife.
Weight gain.
Low energy.
Hormonal changes.
Feeling invisible.
Feeling disconnected from the woman you used to be.
But I don’t believe midlife has to mean accepting a lesser version of yourself.
It can be your turning point.
An opportunity to stop chasing the old version of yourself and intentionally create the next one.
Stronger.
More confident.
More energised.
More connected to her body.
And finally free from constantly starting over.
Ready to Reinvent Yourself?
That’s exactly why I created The Reinvention Room.
It’s my FREE community for women 35+ who are ready to lose stubborn midlife weight, regain their energy and confidence, and create a lifestyle that actually lasts.
Inside you’ll get:
✨ Weekly LIVE trainings
✨ Practical support around weight loss, nutrition, energy and mindset
✨ Special member-only bonuses
✨ An amazing, supportive community of women raising their standards together
No doom and gloom.
No “your best years are behind you” energy.
Just support, momentum, confidence and real transformation.
💜 Your next chapter doesn’t have to be about getting the old you back. It can be about creating an even better version of you.
👉 Join The Reinvention Room for FREE here: Reinvention Room: Weightloss + Identity Reset – FREE Training for Women 35+ | Facebook
