If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or stay consistent with healthy habits, you’ve probably told yourself, “I just need to be more disciplined.”
And when you fall off, when you skip the gym, emotionally eat, or just can’t stay consistent, you feel like you’ve failed – like you’re the problem.
But discipline isn’t just about doing it.
It’s not about white-knuckling your way through every craving or bad day.
Discipline without systems, identity work, or compassion doesn’t last.
So in this blog, I’m going to show you what actually works.
By the end, you’ll know how to stay consistent without relying on willpower, using the Be Do Have Model, Future Self Identity, and the same systems I teach my clients that make healthy habits feel effortless.
Alright, let’s get into it.
https://youtu.be/bB9x8syHtGc?si=P8yMOOradgck19P_
The Be Do Have Model: Becoming Her First
Let’s start with something that completely changed my life – the Be-Do-Have Model.
For years, I lived by the opposite belief:
Once I finally get my eating under control, then I’ll stay consistent with workouts, and then I’ll actually feel confident and good in my body.
Sound familiar?
It doesn’t work that way.
We have to become the kind of person who already has what we want before it actually shows up.
When I was on my own weight loss journey, I kept trying to “do” my way to success with meal plans, gym schedules, apps, and detoxes. But I still felt stuck because deep down, my identity was still that girl who struggled with food and could never stay consistent.
The change didn’t happen when I found the perfect diet — it doesn’t exist.
It happened the day I started asking myself:
“What would the version of me who is already confident, healthy, and free do right now?”
She wouldn’t punish herself for skipping a workout.
She’d go for a walk, breathe, and try again tomorrow.
She’d choose the nourishing meal instead of takeaway.
She’d move her body to feel strong, not just to lose weight.
She’d eat to feel good and trust herself.
That’s the Be-Do-Have model in action.
Be her first. The actions will follow.
If you take one thing from this article, it’s this:
Stop trying to earn your identity. Start embodying it.
Start small. Every small choice is proof that you’re already becoming her.
Future Self Visualization
If you’re struggling with this, try something simple.
Close your eyes (unless you’re driving) and imagine waking up as your future self, the one who’s already confident, strong, grounded, and consistent.
What does her morning feel like?
What thoughts run through her mind when she looks in the mirror?
This isn’t pretending – it’s practicing.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality.
Neuroscience shows that when we visualize a new identity, our brain starts to rewire as if it’s already true.
So instead of saying, “I’ll be consistent once I feel motivated,” flip it to:
“What would my future self do right now, and can I do that just for today?”
Every small choice — that 10-minute walk, that glass of water instead of soda — casts a vote for your future self.
You’re teaching your brain:
I’m the kind of person who follows through.
She’s not waiting for self-discipline or motivation.
She’s building it, one vote at a time.
Create Systems, Not Pressure
Here’s something most people get wrong.
You don’t need more discipline. You need better systems.
I used to think, “I just need to try harder.”
But motivation is fragile. Systems are reliable.
Let me tell you a story.
I had a client named Emma who kept saying, “I’m just lazy. I can’t stick to anything. I never have time for exercise.”
But when we looked closer, it wasn’t her. It was her environment.
Her gym bag was buried in the closet.
Her fridge was full of unhealthy foods.
Her calendar was chaos.
So we built systems.
She set out her workout clothes the night before.
Prepped her lunches on Sundays.
Set a 10-minute movement alarm after work.
Asked her family for help with chores so she had time for herself.
And guess what?
She stopped saying, “I need more discipline.”
Because she didn’t. She just needed her environment to support her goals.
You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
So set up systems that make the right choice the easy choice.
It’s not about trying harder – it’s about creating support around your goals.
And if you’re like Emma and need support with weight loss in midlife, check out my free Midlife Reset Guide.
From Action to Motivation
Here’s something that changed everything for me.
Action comes first. Motivation comes second.
We always wait to feel ready, but that’s like waiting for your phone to charge before you plug it in.
Your brain releases dopamine after you take action, not before.
That’s why those first few steps always feel hard. But once you start, you build momentum.
So instead of saying, “I’ll work out when I feel motivated,” say, “I’ll just put on my shoes.”
Because once you start, your brain rewards you for it.
When I first started recording videos, I used to wait for the perfect mood, perfect lighting, perfect hair day.
Now I just hit record.
Half the time the lighting isn’t perfect. My hair isn’t either.
But action gives me energy.
If you want more motivation, take more action.
Motivation is the side effect of doing.
Stop Starting Over
How many times have you “started over” on a Monday and said, “This week I’ll be perfect”?
I used to live there, in the land of fresh starts and guilt trips.
But perfection isn’t progress. It’s procrastination in disguise.
If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I’d tell her this:
Done is better than perfect.
Because done builds trust.
Every good-enough meal.
Every half-finished journal entry.
Every short walk when you didn’t feel like it.
That’s a deposit into your self-trust account, and trust compounds.
That’s what creates confidence — not perfection, but proof.
Consistency doesn’t come from doing everything right.
It comes from refusing to quit when things get hard.
So let go of perfect.
Be proud of done.
That’s where your freedom lives.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need More Discipline
Here’s the big secret no one tells you.
You don’t need to be more disciplined.
You need to be her now — the version of you who already has peace with food, confidence in her body, and consistency in her habits.
Build the identity first.
Create the systems.
Take the messy first action.
And remember, consistency will always beat perfection.
If this message resonated with you, say it out loud:
“I am becoming her.”
Because the truth is, you already are.
You’re not starting from scratch.
You’re coming home to who you were always meant to be.
And if you’re ready to fuel your body with the right foods for energy, balance, and that midlife glow, check out my next blog: 7 Foods Women in Perimenopause Should Eat to Feel Their Best.
✨ You’re becoming her, one choice at a time.
